How Abusers Twist the Truth: Denial, Attacks, & DARVO (Part 1)

Today is October 17, 2025 which means that election day is only about two and a half weeks away with early voting starting even sooner. What does this mean for me? Ramped up attacks by Ward Hamilton and his enablers. Fun times! Now they are also doing it on Reddit where they can attack under anonymous usernames and be extra cruel. I am not anonymous on Reddit, but these Melrose townies are. It seems that they are now in a desperate situation and feeling the pressure which they are taking out on me. You see, back in September Ward switched from being an At Large councilor/candidate to running as one of the neighborhood district candidates for Ward-4. Some really great candidates emerged over the summer in the At Large race, and Ward likely got scared. He knows that the only way he can win is if he runs unopposed. Luckily for Ward, his good pal Mark, a fellow townie and also a city councilor, just happened to be running unopposed in Ward-4. While Mark’s sincere desire to want to spend more time with his family rather than a thankless city government role is not in question, his not-at-all-calculated decision to withdraw at the eleventh hour (wink, wink) was remarkably well timed as he graciously cleared the way for Ward with little time for other candidates to pull papers. Ward likely very much appreciated this perfectly timed opportunity to slide into that seat, rather than stay in the At Large race where he would likely have gotten trounced. A local Melrose blog website, Melrose Messenger, noted that this was a very unusual move for an incumbent candidate to move from the At Large race to the district/ward race. 

Plot twist: As soon as Ward switched races, two new candidates did emerge! One is an excellent contender who seems to embody all the qualities Melrose would want in a leader representing them in city government. The other (about whom I know little) looks poised to split the conservative and townie vote with Ward, a split that’s unlikely to work in Ward’s favor.

Now, back to why this all means ramped up and extremely vicious attacks by Ward and his townie friends for me. You might say “But Anne! You’re not even running for public office. Why are they attacking you?” This is happening at a very strategic moment, very close to the election. Ward knows he’s outmatched in this race and, like a cornered rabid animal, he and his friends are lashing out trying to discredit me with attacks that are as inhumane as they are disgusting to try to win back some votes. They do not care one single tiny little bit how this will affect me and cause me more trauma, pain, & suffering. What must it be like to be a person like that? Anyhoo, while Ward and his enablers, including fellow city councilor Cal Finocchiaro, don’t consider rape or attacking a survivor for speaking out to be a disqualifier there are many good people in Melrose who do. 

What these brilliant strategists don’t realize though is that with every attack they launch against me they further prove that I am telling the truth about Ward. The abusive behavior coordinated by Ward and carried out by him and his high school friends is just a continuation of the abuse Ward inflicted on me in 1990. Once an abuser, always an abuser! This manipulation tactic he is using is a very common one and is straight out of the abuser playbook. The relentless attacks only confirm everything I’ve said is true as only abusers behave like this. A good person, when confronted with harm that they caused, would feel sadness and remorse. They would make a genuine effort to take responsibility for their actions, seek to repair the damage, and strive to do better and be a better person. Ward, however, has shown he is far from a good person. He chose instead to deny, deflect, attack me, and double down on the very behavior that caused the harm in the first place. He has shown he is not a good person who did something bad. He has made clear over the last two years that he is cruel, selfish, and recklessly indifferent to the harm he causes. This was Ward in 1990 and this is Ward now.

When exposed abusers turn to manipulation and smear tactics to deflect blame. They groom and recruit their friends to help them in this effort. The cruelty of targeting someone who has already endured more than anyone ever should is both unconscionable and inexcusable. It is even more alarming that a person who would do this wants to continue being a central part of the Melrose city government making decisions for other people and their families. 

What is happening to me happens time and time again whenever someone reports or speaks out about sexual assault or abuse. It doesn’t matter if they report it immediately or speak out 30+ years later, people will line up to attack the victim: calling them crazy, a liar, attention-seeking, or claiming they just have regret and weren’t assaulted. There is no other crime where victims are treated so poorly. I did not spend $6,000+ on advice and other services from an attorney because I regretted something from 33 years prior. (Insert eyeroll.) If this was just “regret” I would have been well past it a loooong time ago, but this was sexual assault and that is trauma that does not go away. Trauma & PTSD can be treated and managed, but that is most effective when a victim gets care and support immediately after the assault which I did not have. Even with the care, support, and therapy I have now, these people in Melrose are causing a secondary trauma to me. And let’s be clear: these aren’t impulsive teenagers with brains that aren’t fully formed doing this. These are full-grown adults in their 40s and 50s. I truly wonder how they look at their kids and feel proud of their behavior. If something like this ever happened to their own child (and, sadly, the stats are not in their favor), would they want their child treated this way?

Let’s Talk About DARVO

The manipulation tactic Ward is relying on here is a favorite of abusers. It is called DARVO which is an acronym for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender. DARVO is a form of manipulative control that is used to avoid taking responsibility for harmful behavior towards others. It is used when the perpetrator is confronted about what they did either by the victim or by those supporting the victim. DARVO is rooted in power and control which is a behavior that is very on brand for perpetrators of sexual violence as sexual assault is a crime motivated by power and control. DARVO was first identified and named by American psychologist, Jennifer Freyd, PhD, in 1997. (Please watch the video below of Dr. Freyd speaking about DARVO. This is a clip from a recent webinar hosted by the activist group Lift Our Voices.) When people are educated on DARVO they are less likely to be deceived and swayed by the false narratives being fed to them by an abuser who is very skilled in making himself out to be the victim.

“An innocent person does not need to use DARVO.” -Dr. Jennifer Fryd

DENY: The abuser denies wrongdoing, responsibility, and the victim’s account of what happened. The perpetrator refuses to acknowledge their harmful behavior as they try to keep control of the narrative. This is the perpetrator’s attempt at maintaining power as he tries to assert that his untruthful version is the only one that matters.

ATTACK: The abuser spins lies, attacks the victim’s credibility and mental health (of which they know nothing about) to make them look bad and undermine their claims. The attack phase is where the perpetrator’s need for power and control is most visible. This is the most aggressive piece of DARVO and is emotionally taxing and retraumatizing for victims. The perpetrator is trying to intimidate and silence the victim and any witnesses or supporters. This is intentional to make the victim regret speaking up and to try to scare off any supporters she has. This is designed to exhaust, isolate, and push the victim and witnesses/supporters to stop talking.

REVERSE VICTIM & OFFENDER: The abuser positions themselves as the victim and claims that the person who is actually the victim is the one causing trouble, is the aggressor, and a liar. This inversion of the reality of the situation garners sympathy for the perpetrator from those around him. This also works because people will look at what is happening and decide they don’t want to get involved which leaves the victim even more isolated and alone. This role reversal is about the perpetrator taking total control of the narrative. This doesn’t just confuse people, but it isolates the victim. Some people will pull away, afraid to take sides and afraid to also be subjected to the wrath of the perpetrator and his enablers. This also weaponizes empathy. The compassion that should be protecting the harmed person is redirected toward the one who caused the harm. This causes the victim to be cast as the villain for simply telling the truth about their abuser who already stole so much from them.

What Does This All Mean for the Melrose Community?

Why is this so damaging not just for me, but for all survivors, for people currently being abused, and for future victims? Because what Ward and his friends are doing sends a loud and clear message to the entire Melrose community: If you’re thinking about coming forward about your assault or abuse, don’t bother. They’re showing everyone what happens to someone who speaks out. They will be attacked, smeared, called a liar, painted as unstable, and blamed for the harm done to them. The abuser will be shielded and defended, and you, as the victim, will be made to feel like you’re the one who did something wrong.

This is not just personal retaliation by the perpetrator, it’s full on public intimidation. It reinforces the exact conditions that keep victims silent: fear of not being believed, fear of backlash, fear of being threatened, fear of being socially ostracized and/or re-traumatized. These things have all, sadly, come true for me and I naively thought things would be better speaking out when I did in 2023. What Ward and his enablers are doing is teaching current victims to stay quiet. This has told victims/survivors that their pain is inconvenient, their truth is unwelcome, and their courage will be punished. And for future victims, those who don’t even know yet that they may need community support some day, it creates a culture where abusers feel safe, protected, and defended, and victims are attacked, isolated, and made to feel powerless. This is a group of people doing this. The townie mob mentality. As a friend of mine who runs an activism organization says with regard to these brutal attacks, "It takes a village!" We saw the Canton townies do it and we are seeing the Melrose townies do the same thing. 

Everything I’ve described is what is known as rape culture. It encompasses all of these elements and more. I have been told that Ward’s friends think rape culture only means cheering on a rape in progress or shouting “I love rape.” That level of willful ignorance is exactly why they’re also so offended by being called rape apologists. A rape apologist is someone who justifies, excuses, or minimizes the harm, shifts blame to the victim, or believes the survivor but still thinks the perpetrator shouldn’t face any consequences. It also is a person who continues to endorse and/or support a candidate despite knowing he harmed in this way and continues to harm the victim. Before anyone shouts “Innocent until proven guilty!”, that only applies in a criminal court, not in public discourse and certainly not in accountability for a public figure. No one’s trying to send Ward to prison. He’s only ever been asked to act like a decent human being, and he’s repeatedly shown he can’t.

What Ward and his enablers are doing isn't just cruel to me, it weakens the community’s moral fabric and puts more people at risk. When survivors are attacked and silenced, abusers are empowered. And when abuse is allowed to thrive in the shadows, the damage and danger only grows. You don’t have to decide what happened in 1990 to see who Ward Hamilton is now. Look at how he and his enablers have responded since I spoke out. Is a person who does all of the above a person Melrose wants as a community leader?

To Be Continued . . .

Isn’t it amazing how an abuser distorts the truth even when he is so easily proven wrong? Abusers count on people not checking for themselves and hoping their lies spread faster than the facts. It’s manipulative, intentional, and all too familiar to anyone who’s ever dealt with an abuser. Part 2 will present documented examples and direct quotes that illustrate how Ward and his enablers have engaged in the conduct discussed above. Although I have a busy weekend ahead, I will try to get that up in the next couple of days.

DARVO as explained by Dr. Jennifer Freyd. This is a clip from a recent webinar hosted by the activist group Lift Our Voices: